The Interplanetary Chronicle

…the worst tabloid in this galaxy and beyond

amthonie.nl

Because reality isn’t ridiculous enough: a satirical outlet reporting boldly, inaccurately and with great enthusiasm on the state of the cosmos.

Retro-futurist Interplanetary Chronicle poster headlined "Royal Tea Tussel! Blamed on regional pigeon network?" — crowned royals argue through brass megaphones beside a cracked domed space colony, as pigeons wheel overhead and figures take tea in a pavilion.

Monarchs in Meltdown as Tea House Squatters Threaten Inter-Palace Border Controls

A minor squatter incident at the Mercurian Royal Union triggers threats of sanctions, a resurgence of pigeon‑based conspiracy theories, and the complete collapse of inter‑palace diplomacy.

Retro-futuristic city scene showing workers demolishing sidewalks with a “Sidewalk Eradicator” machine, while confused pedestrians look on amid cars, flying vehicles, and billboards promoting car-only living.

Passum Magna Eradicates Pavements to Bolster Bulk Car-Polish Sales

Pedestrians on Planet Ambulax face exile to distant retail parks after city council deems walking an unreasonable impediment to vehicular commerce.

Retro-futuristic disaster scene showing cork-sealed volcanoes forcing new eruptions in the foreground, with lava, flying saucers, and people fleeing the city.

Plagued by Plugs, Virga IV's Tectonics Turn Sour

A diplomatic effort to cork active volcanoes backfires catastrophically, leaving the South Federation somewhat unexpectedly on fire.

Retro-futuristic poster showing cheerful astronauts mining glowing rocks on Venus, with lava fields, domed cities, and flying craft under a fiery sky.

Mohjang’s Grand Experiment

Mohjang unveils a Venusian theme park that secretly mines a planet while visitors believe they’re merely enjoying themselves

Retro-futuristic poster showing officials planning a Martian colony called “Naarden,” with domed cities, rockets, and flying saucers over a red landscape.

Naarden’s Bold Mars Gambit Raises Eyebrows, Hopes, and One Very Confused Space Billionaire

A group of spectacularly self‑assured Naarders has stunned the region by announcing cosmically deranged plans to abandon Earth entirely and negotiate with space magnate Leon Sumk for their own hand‑picked Martian micro‑kingdom.

Retro-futuristic magazine cover showing astronauts watching Earth explode as a red rocket escapes into space.

'I Am Still Alive!' Announces Tech Visionary From Scorched Martian Outpost After Earth Unlocking Protocol

Local tech billionaire successfully avoids Earth's regulatory frameworks by vaporizing the planet for fuel. Reports from Mars indicate a 90% workforce reduction due to local "hostilities," but the CEO remains highly bullish. "Hey, I am still alive!"

Retro-futuristic poster showing “Flevoland” as America’s 51st state, with highways, a dam, rockets, and flying saucers under a bright sky.

Flevoland Ceded to US in Global 'Greenland Compromise' as President Celebrates 'Beautiful New Island'

A diplomatic masterstroke leaves the Netherlands “devastated” as Flevoland is ceded to the US — while ministers quietly celebrate keeping the Waddeneilanden out of American hands.